On The Go!

Karma is keeping me on my toes these days.. no room to walk with the floor being taken up by a moving baby and her toys.. lol.



As you can see she is getting pretty good at moving around now ( and she really really likes to watch tv :P ).. have to keep an eye on her constantly.. to make sure she isn't getting into too much..

She has also taken to pulling herself up on furniture or me. :) I had to go save her the other day because she had pulled herself up by the couch and had started to fall backwards. She was barely hanging on to the edge of the couch and her little head was merely seconds away from hitting the coffee table. lol

Cant even turn my back long enough to get her her dinner now without her getting into some sort of trouble.
YAY!! TROUBLE!!

Home now..

Was a good visit.. got to hang out with some old friends.. if you r reading this you know who you r.. lol
anyway.. Luc is doing really well.. he doesnt sound so robotic.. he is able to open his left hand some now.. able to walk a fair distance(still with help but thats better than nothing)
All in all im pretty impressed with him.. He isnt as impressed with himself as i am with him.. but he is stuck there all day everyday.. feeling like its taking too long... getting frustrated.
:(
My poor hubby.
:(
I miss him. The hospital he is in has sent out a request for him to be transfered to the long term rehab center in ponoca(spelling).
just between edmonton and red dear.
Hopeing, fingers crossed. Even if they accept him into their program it may take quite a long time for him to be able to actually go there. They are a Long Term rehab center.. meaning they may not have an open bed for a few months... i can imagine they may even not have room for him for up to a year..
I fear that.. means it will take that much longer for him to get the rehab he needs to function normally in society.
He did have a few outbursts while i was around.. Thankfully i talked him down from them.. Had one my first night in edmonton.. i wasnt there for it.. when i got back to the hospital from my hotel room, he was in the padded wheelchair in his room with the lights dimmed..(trying to calm him down by making him sleepy?)
He had the outburst right at the start of dinner... so he hadnt eaten..
I took him to the other hospital(royal alex) thru the tunnels and bought him a burger..
Took him out for dinner every night i was there. He seemed to enjoy it.
I really really hope he is accepted into the long term rehab.. :)

Anyway.. Karma had fun with her grandma and pa while i was in edmonton. She kept grandma up pretty much every night.. didnt want to sleep for some reason..
Poor grandma... lol
She didnt seem to miss me too much.. lol... but when i got back she immediately wanted me to pick her up.. whenever i would turn around to walk away..(even to the bathroom) she started to scream..
poor little girl with abandonment issues.. lol :)
Thats all i have to report for now.

Leaving tomorrow.

Going to Edmonton. Gonna see my hubby, gonna see my hubby!!
lol
Anyway. Karma did well on her flight(s). Take off in Grand Prairie, land in Edmonton. Stay on the plane. Take off, land in Calgary. Get off plane, hour layover. Get on plane and take off, land in Kelowna.
I hate flying.. I'm not a good flyer.
Karma did fine though.. until the Calgary to Kelowna part of the trip. No sooner had we gotten on the plane and she decided to poop. I have to place to change her.. she has to sit in it the whole trip. Not much I could do. Get off the plane, change her.
FLAMING red diaper rash.
:(
It has taken 5.5 days so far to clear it up.
Poor little thing. She had so many firsts this trip.. First flights. First bum rash, and first cold.. Poor baby. :(
anyway.. will post more after my trip to edmonton.

pretty much me in a nutshell.

Creepy how much like me it actually is.... :P

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. Your friends tend to be a as quirky as you are - which is saying a lot! You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Got a Vehicle!!

About time too..
Now im not paying everytime i need to go get something..
Yeah it costs more for things like maintenance, fuel, etc.
but over a long period of time, it can get pretty expensive taking a cab everywhere.. would take the bus.. if it ran more frequently, and had more stops.
Anyway, its a 2000 ford windstar. pretty good deal, they had it listed for 11,900 but i got it at 6,995..
good stuff.
will post pics of it later sometime.. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon.
Karma is starting to really try to crawl :)
its cute.. she more or less pulls herself along with her arms..
kicking her legs behind her. :)
lol
Going to see luc soon
Going to Vernon on the 19th. leaving karma there with g-ma on the 25th(overnight bus to edmonton) gonna be back in vernon on the 2nd of march. leaving there on the 8th to come back up here.. :(
feels like forever ago since i saw luc last.. :(
only been like 2 months..
lol
he told me the other day that i needed to talk to his dr.. i asked why. He said so i could tell her to send him home. :)
he is so funny, and sooo sweet. :)
anyway.. i had to format my puter(virus)
lost everyones email addy's.. so... please send me an email or something.. :)

Psycho!!

I was just looking around online and came across this video!!
You gotta see this!!

The bride to be is friggin nuts! Good for a laugh though. :)

havent posted in a while..

but i have some good news.
Looks like Luc is starting to come out of his post traumatic amnesia.
A couple of days ago i told him our phone number... then had him repeat it to me a few times..
well the last 4 digits of our # are 2041.. the next day, when i asked him what our # was, he said our number was 2014.
close but not quite right.. i told him again what it was and ever since then he remembers..
:)
only problem now is that he is starting to show his temper.
not so good. but at least it was expected.
:(
where he damaged his brain(his left orbital fracture and the consequent trauma to the brain directly behind it)his left frontal lobe, controls personality, motor skills, and temper.
So, now they have to start dealing with that..
I have now had to reinterate to him, at the nurses request, that hitting is wrong...
I told him it is ok to vocalize as opposed to lashing out physically.
anywho.. this is actually a good thing, even the nurses said so. It means he is getting stronger and healing some.
sigh.. lol
well.. will post more when i know more..
until then.. :) have a good day to whomever may be reading this. :)

made won ton soup tonight...

all by myself!! from scratch!!
it was yummy!!
see!!!!
I even made the won ton's themselves!! mmmmmmmm... soupy!

Christmas was good

The hospital staff were all really nice. Luc is doing so well, he was able to squeeze my hand with his left hand(the one he couldnt move). He is wheeling himself around pretty good(pulling himself along with his right leg and trying with his left one as well, but not as much or as well). He didnt ramble much when i was there. For example, he didnt say the word "executive" once the whole time i was there. For those of you that have missed some of my posts, he was using a random word to fill in the blanks for a while there. He didnt do that once the whole time i was there.

It was so sweet. :) I held Karma on his knee and asked if he wanted to give her a little bouncy horsey ride on his knee. So he gently bounced her and would keep reaching out to her then pull his hand back.. I asked him if he wanted her off his knee and he said" No, i just dont want to drop her":) He is being such a good daddy.
He tried to put her sucky in her mouth for her, but he couldnt reach her at the angle she was at to him. He saw me play with her nosey and reached up and did it too. He was always soooooo very gentle with her. I was really impressed. I helped him open his xmas gifts, he read all the cards. Then he tried to help open Karma's gifts for her, so she wouldnt be able to eat the paper :)

Talked to the Rec. Therapist while i was there. He came in on boxing day with his two little poodles. One of them licked Karma and she started to cry :) it was cute. He has set up an email addy for Luc. Friday before i left he emailed me a message. He did really well for only using one hand. There were some random letters and numbers in there but for the most part he kept on track with his message. And apparently the rec therapist was impressed with how well luc did on the computer. I guess luc sat and played solitaire for about 45 mins one day. :)

LOL.. at one point while i was there, i had gotten luc a coffee. My parents called my cell and we talked with them.. Luc was done talking to my dad so he handed me the phone and wanted his coffee..(which i was holding for him) I mentioned to luc that the lid wasnt on properly, and my dad asked what was going on. I told him i was just helping luc with his coffee and holding it for him. So my dad laughed and called me lucs coffee bitch.. :)
i laughed and luc asked what my dad had said.. so i told him.. Luc laughed and said" If i called you my bitch you would make sure i hit the floor" :)
lol
He still has a really good sense of humor even with all his injuries.

Any way. Lots of good things happened while i was there. Got absolutely no pics unfortunatly. Forgot the camera.. got a little video footage of him opening his and karma's presents but ended up at the end of the tape :(
will post some pics of Karma on her site soon :P

Going to Edmonton for Christmas

So if i dont see or talk to anyone until i get back, merry christmas.
Hope everyone has a wonderful day and gets what they want :)
Will post an update when i have one.. also, gonna post more pics of Karma, hopefully with her daddy and me, oncei get back.. probably on her blog though. :)
Take care everyone.

Talked to Luc's Phsycologis(or psyciatrist){btw my spelling is horrible!!}

Any way. She told me that Luc is pretty much par for the course as far as his mental state. This is the time when they start to get down and very confused.. hence the fact that he has been making stuff up. He was even mad at me last night for "denying our son ", tyler or trevor or something like that. lol.. Yeah he thinks we have 2 kids.. and one of them is a boy who is older than Karma.
Only temporary though.. thank god.
He seems to be doing well.. the nurses i have spoken with seem really nice too.
so, anyways..
not much going on in my life at the moment. Got guardianship and stuff of Luc. So now i can cut down on things like cable to save some money.. possibley get a vehicle..
oh well.. more later.

Talked to Luc today...

I had spoken to his nurse earlier in the day.. she said that they had to put a net of some sort around his bed so he wouldnt climb out and hurt himself.... since he has been trying to get out..
So when i spoke to him on the phone i asked him if he was trying to get out of bed. He said yeah. I asked if they put the netting up so he wouldnt get up, fall over, and hit his head. He said " yeah, but i screwed them!" so of course i asked him how he screwed them.. his response was"because i didnt hit my head!" lol
So innocent in some ways. I told him i missed him a bunch. He said that he has been missing me lots, for like the past 3 days. :)
I love him..
When I was about to get off the phone with him, he told me to say hi to everyone for him. I told him to behave and no matter how much he wants to do or not to do something, he has to do what the nurses and doctors tell him to do. He said he would try. I guess (when i called the other day) his nurse told me he wasnt wanting to eat much. I told them to tell him that his wife wants him to eat so his brain can get better and he can come home. Well the nurse told him that this morning during breakfast, and he told her" thats funny, thats what my wife always says". :)
so his memory is getting a bit better..
He also asked to call his wife this morning..
He asked me today when im gonna come to see him.. I told him as soon as i can afford to.
He must be lonely there.. but at least his mom and fred are there as of tonight(in edmonton) and they are gonna be there till monday (when their flight leaves). So he will have some company.:)
from people who care about him.

HaHa

Andrea Marie Maclean's Aliases

Your movie star name: Dorito's Robert Your fashion designer name is Andrea London Your socialite name is Ferret Face & Weazle Breath Vancouver Your fly girl / guy name is A Mac Your detective name is Dog Fulton Your barfly name is Salt And Vinigar Chips Shmirnoff Ice Your soap opera name is Marie 3rd Your rock star name is Sour Gummies Time Your Star Wars name is Andmoc Macluc Your punk rock band name is The Lonely Lint

The Amazing Meganame Generator

This looks like a good movie..

you should watch the trailer.

The Secret

Sometimes....

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Hubby gone :( :)

:) yay!! this means he will be getting even better from here on in.
got up at 6:30 am to go see him before they shipped him out. Karma did good for getting woken up to run out of the house before 7am..
I told him he should say bye to his baby for now since he wont see her for quite a while. So he said bye sweety, daddy is gonna miss you. he even cuddled with her on his bed for a few minutes.. I got pissed off at one of the nurses.. He said he had to pee so she came in and just undid his attends and gave him the little portable urinal but left him lying down.. she didnt bother to get him sitting up or nothing. She also said that if he didnt go that she would just let him go in his attends and change him when he had finished. So when she left and luc said he wouldnt be able to pee like that I said to him, i know hunny, that nurse kinda erked me.. you are totally capable of getting up to pee, you just need help and for her to do that and say that(infront of him) is kinda degrading. It makes me mad for you i said. He looked down when she had left. Just because he has brain injury doesnt mean he cant understand her or feel embarrased(spelling sucks). He was definately embarrased by that.. After i told him that he said thanks hunny. and smiled at me.
:)
It makes me feel good that he understands why i was upset at the nurse(cause i could tell he was upset by the situation too) and that he was thankful for my noticing it too. :)
He is so sweet.. he sorta remembered our phone # today.. only he said the first three digits where 503 which is a vernon #
He said he was gonna think of us everyday and try to get better for her(karma).
anywho.. im gonna go, gotta do dishes so karma has bottles for the rest of the night.

Got the call today.

Luc is going to the Glenrose on friday in the morning sometime...
:) & :(
:) cause he is going away to get better,
:( because he is going away.
:'(
I am going to miss him.
A LOT!!
It's funny. I miss him now, because he isnt the same as he was and he isnt at home, but at least he was close.
Now he will be far far away from me.
CHRISTINE!!! Visit him every day for me!! Tell him I love him and miss him..
Remind him i wrote our # down in his book and he can call me collect whenever he needs to talk to me..
Remind him I will get there to see him as soon as I can.
:(
:)
I know he is going to get better.
:)
(thinking positive)
:) yay positive!!
:(
This sucks having these mixed up feelings about him going away...
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy.
but,
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sad.. lol
sorry..
just rambling.. cant really think of anything else at the moment..
I will update on his progress from here..
Oh, he moved his pointer finger on his left hand today.. and he is moving his left leg well while walking, although not the right one... ( We figure its cause he can support his weight on that leg and doesnt feel comfortable lifting it up for too long as he doesnt use his left leg for support.)
Not yet anyways. :)
soon enough...
I can just imagine going to visit him in a few months and have him getting up to give me and the baby a hug. :)
Thats the picture in my head and thats how im going to keep thinking :)
ok..
im going otherwise i will pretty much say the same things over and over again..
Honestly, This is probably the most horrible thing i could imagine happening to anyone. So, during this holiday season, everyone just drive carefully, and keep an eye out for those idiots who dont.
:) take care for now.

Awww..

Luc, I think, has a very good understanding of most of whats wrong with him. I guess he told the nurse yesterday that he has to give me power of attorney, and when she asked why he said that i would be in charge and could take care of the baby that way.. :)
She asked him why he thought he should do that.. He told her " my brain is wishy washy". :(
My poor, dear hubby. :(
He is thinking of me and the baby.
And today, when i went to see him, with our friend Rae anne, he was kinda down.
She asked him what he wanted for xmas, he said " to get better"
We both were kinda not sure what to say to that, so she asked him if there was anything else he might want.. He said he wanted to see me and the baby. So thats when i told him that there was a new sonic youth cd out(came out just around Karma's birth) and he finally said he might like that for xmas.. other than that i think he just doesnt want to be alone for xmas.
I dont blame him
:(
I had to run out for a few mins after that.. told him i would come back later. He asked me to promise.. so of course i did.
When i came back (about an hour later) I went to find him in his room.. He was in there with one of the nurses.. I guess she was trying to cheer him up. He hadnt eaten lunch, and didnt seem too interested in doing so.
He told her he was sad cause i didnt stay to visit him longer. :( thats why he didnt want to eat..
So when i showed up i made him eat and promise not to worry even if i didnt come to see him.. cause he still had to eat to get better. He agreed and had his lunch. :)
yay.. he loves me :)
i love him :)
I miss him :(
but he is getting there.. i just love how much he cares about his family :)
He talks about his mom all the time, he apparently talks about me and Karma alot when we arent there.. tells the nurses about his pretty little girl. :)
He even told the nurse he was proud of me.. :)
he wouldnt say why.. but still :)
i dont care why..

Sad.. but good..

I went to see Luc yesterday..
So, he has been starting to show emotion, mostly joy.. little bits of laughing and smiling here and there, when he is in the mood to smile.
I guess its only right that since he has started to show one emotion he should start to show more of them.
Well, I had his music playing on the dvd player i bought him, and the song " I walk the line" came on...
he said to me..
"This is gonna make me sad" and I, being not terribly with it lately, asked him what was going to make him sad..(i was looking at the baby when i asked him this)
I looked up when he said "this song" because something sounded off..
Well he was right.. the song made him sad.. he was starting to tear up.
:( That was hard to see..
so i turned the music off and gave him a hug and told him everything was ok.. that its ok to cry but he didnt need to, because his friends and family love him and he is getting better, and i told him that before he knows it he will be on his way home..
Its horrible to see him upset like that.. and to not be able to fix it and make him happy.
But, in the sceme of things, it is a very very good thing that he is starting to do that.
He needs to be able to release his emotions.
Later on, when he is able to come home and such, he can choose to hold things back if he feels he needs to, but for now this is another big step forward.
He has also started to move his left thumb for me. :)
his left leg is getting there as well.. but that left hand and arm i have been sooooo worried about.. so... YAY!! Everything, no matter how small, is a huge improvement.
I cant imagine what he is going thru inside(as he doesnt really know how to express things totally yet) and how hard it must be for him to try to move his left side and have it not work totally for him.
He is trying, and that is the main thing.
In some ways im glad he will be going to Edmonton for his rehab, and that i wont be there for it..
It would be too hard to watch i think.. knowing he is getting frustrated and tired and such.
oh well..
oh!! btw.. i have been trying to post comments on a few peoples blogs, and blogger for some reason or another wont allow it..
dont know why, just hope that they will fix this problem soon..
so, Leslie, Tammy, Lovanda, and everyone else who doesnt get a post from me for a while, I keep trying and eventually i will comment on your blogs!! :P

Got an email...

from my cousin-in-law today. One of those multiple questions things that you answer and send to people to help them get to know you better.
One of the questions was do you believe in god. Good question. I answered "not always". But still, the question has actually been on my mind all day. I dont know.. maybe its because im having an off day (missing my husband, missing our life together, missing him in our babies life, etc) but I have felt really terrible about this question all day. I dont want to offend anyone who truly believes in God, because everyone is entitled to their beliefs and I feel that it must be really nice to have undying faith in something, but if there truly is a god... why let crappy things happen to good people? Like my husbands situation. Why him? Why not the assholes who drive stupidly for the road conditions and end up hurting someone else.... and the same for those who drink and drive and hurt or kill people in accidents, but they walk away without a scratch? Why someone who just had their first little baby, had just really started something big and new in his life? Why did this happen to my baby? Why her daddy? Why does she have to suffer and not have her father around? What did she do to deserve this? I went on utube last night. Was looking at the video of Karma giggling, and decided to look at some of the other video's of babies giggling(thought it would cheer me up). Know what I saw? Lots of video's of babies laughing at their daddies. Lots with mommies too, but guess who was video taping it? Daddy.
Why would a god let this happen?
Yeah, everyone keeps saying that god will not deal you hand that you cant deal with. Im fine with that for me.. Ive held it together so far.
Im alone up here. I have to raise our child alone..
Im getting by. But why, if there is a god, did he deal this hand to my baby? Every little girl needs her daddy. The only saving grace is that, at the moment, she is too little to understand. I know she wont remember this when she gets older. But what happens if Luc never recovers enough to come home? What do i tell her when she asks why she doesnt have a daddy? And if he can come home, its gonna hurt him so much when she doesnt know him and makes strange with him. On top of trying to take care of her, i will have to still keep a watchful eye on him, to make sure he is ok and that he is really ok with her. This is a lot to deal with.
I dont really know what to think. Is there a god? isnt there? if there is one, why did he let this happen? why not some pervert who molests kids? why not the rapists? serial killers?
If there is a god, is he gonna take care of us? Are things gonna get easier? or from this point on are they gonna stay hard?
Sorry. This has been on my mind all day.
Not the most pleasant post.